Love Within Poverty

We are going to die. (Great way to open the post, right?). Death is a reality we have to accept. There is such a poverty in death, a vulnerability. We don't know when we will die. Death can come suddenly, when you least expect it. It can approach slowly without remorse as it does with sickness and cancer. But it comes. The question is: will you be prepared? How many of us can say, "I regret nothing. If I died today, everyone I have ever loved would know it." ?

However, until we die... let us live. Victoria Erickson tells us to "feel our lives while we are in it." (tbh when I started writing this post I had something completely different in mind but stay with me haha).

Back to the poverty note above... The night of the Last Supper, Jesus reached His hand out to wash Peter's feet. But Peter pulled away. He couldn't let the Messiah, the King of the entire world, touch his feet. To most of us, our feet are the unpresentable, dirty, almost ugly part of ourselves; they're even located at the lowest part of our bodies. They pick up dirt, they smell and they are rough. Peter retracted his foot because he couldn't accept the poverty and humility of Christ's actions. But He wanted to meet Peter at his lowest. Jesus wanted to touch and be present for Peter where he felt the most dirty and wounded. 

He wants the same with us. He wants to meet us in our radical poverty. He wants us to be totally dependant on Him. He wants to touch and heal the deepest parts of ourselves and rely on Him for everything. We think we are the only ones ones who live every moment with ourselves. You know? Like, we may have best friends that understand pretty much everything, but in reality- we are the ones who know every thought, feeling, and pain within our hearts. We are the ones that know the extent of our pain. But, Jesus knows too. Matthew 6:6 talks about doing things "in secret." Jesus preaches that "the Father who sees in secret will repay you." He knows! He understands more than we can fathom! 

The final battle for our redemption was won in the garden of Gethsemane. Yes, you read that right. Jesus told his apostles that his soul was "overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death" (Mt. 26:38). Never had He felt so alone. The things He had to do... no one else could do it. No angel has the power to break open hell's gates and no man has the purity to destroy sin's claim. No force on earth can face the force of evil and win- except God.

"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak," Jesus tells his friends. Did it ever occur to you that He was possibly speaking of Himself? His humanity begged to be delivered from what His divinity could see. He implored his heavenly Father, "Can't there be another way?" But He surrendered His will, trusting His Father. "Not My will, but Thine be done" (Mt. 26:42). He couldn't turn His back on what was to come because... He saw you. He saw you right in the middle of a world that isn't fair. He saw you cast into a river of life you didn't request. He saw you betrayed by those you love. He saw you with a body that gets sick and a heart that grows weak. He saw you in your own garden of gnarled trees and sleeping friends. He saw you staring into the pit of your own failures and the mouths of your own grave. He saw you in your own garden of Gethsemane and... He didn't want you to be alone. 

He wanted you to know that He had been there too. He knows what it's like to be calumniated, betrayed, confused, and torn between two desires. He knows what it's like to smell the stench of Satan. And, perhaps most of all, He knows what it's like to beg God to change His mind and hear Him say, "No." That is what happened in the garden of Gethsemane. God looked at His only Son and told Him "No, Beloved, You must die." Jesus unclenched His fists. His heart fought no more. The final battle was won. The sign of conquest was Jesus at peace in the olive trees. It was in that garden He made His decision: He'd rather go to hell for you than go to heaven without you.

Today, let us take time to just sit and be loved by God. We don't need to pray to earn His love; He gives it freely. Let Him love you in your brokenness. Let Him meet you in your poverty. Allow Him to see what you hate to see. For it is not weakness in His eyes, rather just another place He wants to love you. In that garden, He didn't flee from our suffering... He entered into it. 

*OMADG*