Are You An Authentic You?

(A pic I drew in Adoration on 09/30/16)

        Who are You? Sometimes, I think I have an idea of who you are. But, just when I am beginning to understand Your greatness with my little brain and grasp Your goodness in my weak hands, You have to go and do something unfathomable. I stare at You now and feel close to You. However, at the same time, I feel a thousand light-years away. Here I am; in Your presence. Sometimes I look at You but do not see You. I desired the desire to know You. Now that I have it, why hide Yourself from me?

     I want to tell the world of Your love. How can I do so when I have so little wisdom? Give me the wisdom. I desire to know You more. I want us to be the best of friends. Help me distinguish Your voice from mine. I want to wake up and feel You, go to sleep and still feel You. I need You to oxygenate my lungs. Burn me as a torch so others may come to know and feel Your love. Let me be a light among the darkness. For You. A light to lead other lost, wandering, confused, and curious hearts to You. Tell me what I can do. May You receive all the credit, Lord. Not me. No "thank you;" no "you are an inspiration." May it be directed to You, Love. 

     Let me be humbled. I will never be able to love You in the way I desire all the time. That alone tears my heart in two. The only time I can love You perfectly is when the words "Through Him, with Him, and in Him" are prayed. I borrow Your love- to love You. I want to love You through others. Do not let me interfere, willingly or unwillingly, with the plans You have for those I love. Please. Prevent me from doing anything that will hurt the future You have planned for them. Their happiness means so much to me. Never let me lead them away from You! I love them with Your love. I love them with a pure, strong, merciful love. 

     Why? Why do You let me? I cannot help myself! I give, give, give. I love and nurture and care and love! Why? I fear my love is my weakness! I fear my trust and optimism can be stupid! Why do You let me linger in this suffocating confusion? Why did You give me the gift of honesty if it pushes away everyone I love? I do not want You to take it away, though. I am thankful I am honest and blunt. It is hard though, at times. I need a friend who appreciates that in me. My honesty. Please. 

     Let me know when I am being too pushy and annoying to those around me. I believe I can be that way without realizing it... And please have my new friends stick with me through all seasons. Let me be a great friend. Help me possess all the things I long for in a friend. 

     Lord, I need Your holiness to penetrate my life and wash away anything that is unholy in me. Take away any attitude, any hidden sin of the mind, any activity or action that I do which is not what You would have for me. Amen.

I love You too, Me


(I wrote this letter to God pretty recently. Actually, it was on the ninth...)

Questions: Have you ever felt the way I have? Like in the letter? Confused? Broken? Lost? And at the same time, on fire for Jesus? Wanting so badly to be His light for others, but confused on how? Have you ever felt that one of your traits is a weakness? Even if it is a good one? Have you ever felt that by being you- you are pushing people away?

     There is hope. Be yourself and the right people will like you. It's really hard: I get that. Be authentic. The more you accept yourself/who you are without judging yourself, the more you can express yourself in spite of judgment from others. Be yourself because the original is worth more than another copy. There is only room for the one, beautiful, unique, charming, fun, crazy you! Comparison is the thief of joy. 

     It begins with you; if you do not care about/for yourself- you will not be strong enough to care about anything else. You will forever question your choices/decisions. Do not chase people; work hard and be yourself. Under these two principles, the right people will find their way into your life. It takes nothing to join the crowd; it takes everything to stand alone. You'll turn out ordinary if you're not careful. Life is a difficult exam. Everyone else tries to copy each other, not knowing we each have a separate question paper.


DON'T YOU DARE SHRINK YOURSELF FOR THOSE WHO REFUSE TO GROW.







Comments

  1. Eppie Evans15/4/18 22:26

    Wow, Jo. I really love the last sentence you wrote. Thanks for a bit of inspiration late at night :).

    ReplyDelete

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