I Miss You...

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower,
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf;
So Eden sank to grief.
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay...
 
--Robert Frost

     .  .  .  .  .

     The evening chill reflected what she felt within her heart. Stepping out of the car, she inhaled slowly as she rested her head against the frame. Swallowing tears, she turned and approached the walkway guarded by two blood-red brick pillars. She tried to bury the memories and pretend that she was walking into a garden instead of a cemetery. 

"A garden of souls," was her thought. Shaking her head abruptly, she touched her foot to the grass. Hesitating only a fraction of a second, she continued. Her legs could no longer hold her so she sunk to the ground. She knelt then, not caring if she stained her clothes on the slightly damp grass. Folding herself into an Indian style, she held her face in her hands. 

     No longer could she hold back the flood of memories. She laughed until she cried... After a few moments she lifted her head, dragging her shaking hands over her tear-stained face. 

     "I miss you," she whispered aloud. Timidly, she reached out her right hand and placed it on the mound of grass. "You left me here... I'm so happy for you, but I'm crying for me. I want to be with you."

     .  .  .  .  .

     At home, she started to draw as she played the music on the loudest it could go. My Wish by Rascal Flatts came on. All she could imagine was him singing it to her. He was smiling his crooked smile as he moved around. Of course, he was wearing his favourite pants, black t-shirt, and baseball hat. And he was singing. He loved singing, but he knew he was not as good as he wanted to be. But he was singing for her. 

     "It's okay to move on. And it's okay to go slowly..." She smiled through her lingering tears and continued to draw.

.  .  .  .  . 

With You

J. N. Cloutier

Robert Frost says

Nothing gold can stay.

Is that why, my friend

You had to go away?

If Robert Frost is right,

Then there is only one way to have you to hold.

And although I like silver better,

I desperately want to be gold.

*I wrote this a few days ago... I miss him, but bc he loves me he wants me to be happy.
It has been one month and six days for my sorrow, but his joy.
If he can be happy for me more than sad to leave...
I can be happy for him.

Omnia Majoram ad Dei Glorium